


Bring you the moon

by Olol



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Depression, Established Relationship, F/M, Miscarriage, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olol/pseuds/Olol
Summary: Sakura didn’t recognize the person staring back at her anymore. She was sick of being a burden. 5 months she hasn’t been herself, she just wanted to feel again.warning: suicidal thoughts, miscarriage.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	Bring you the moon

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something that was angst over fluff. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Inspired by the prompt "You've become a burden lately and I can't take it anymore."

The thunder rumbled in the background, followed by a flash of lightning that illuminated the bedroom. The skies were weeping today. Sakura thought that they came to finally swallow her up in her misery. She didn’t have the energy to get out of the bed. In all honesty with herself, she didn’t have the energy for very much anymore. 

It felt like an eternity since it happened. There was so much blood, even as a medic she didn’t know how that was possible. She studied the human body. Has seen men bleed out due to war. Had to console a genin on the start of womanhood when she got her first period, her mother having died during the war leaving a clueless and heartbroken father. However, seeing that much blood come from herself...she didn’t know what to do. 

Sakura buried her head further into his pillow, taking in the earthy scent that brought her comfort. Well it usually brought her comfort. Now it reminded her of yet another person she has let down. There was a pressure at her back, he had left Pakkun to keep her company while he had to go into the Hokage office today. The tears started to slowly fall onto the sheets, mirroring the rain as it falls from the heavens down the buildings onto the ground. Sakura thought she had gotten past all the crying when she was younger. She was stronger now...was stronger. All the strength has left her body. She wasn’t even sure if she had bones to hold her up, she felt empty. 

Summoning whatever remaining wisp of strength she had Sakura got out of bed. Venturing into the bathroom she looked at the toilet and shower, flashing images of blood assault her eyes. She can feel herself tremble, bracing herself on the sink. Sakura braves a look into the mirror. 

Who is the woman staring back at her? What happened to her? 

Her eyes were sunken in. Skin was paler, a ghost would jump in fright. Dark circles… representing the punch in the face from the universe. She hadn’t bothered to cut her hair in a while, she was going to let it grow. Her hair started to grow faster before the event happened. Now it reached mid back, it was stringy, lackluster. 

No longer was the vibrant, happy, strong, intelligent person she had once known looking back at her.”You’ve become a burden lately...” Sakura is talking into the mirror , her voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t handle it anymore.” The tears are like a waterfall. Next thing she knows she is punching the mirror. 

She feels. For the first time in a long time, she feels. Looking at her hand she sees the cuts on her knuckles. The blood is slowly flowing down her hand. Part of her doesn’t know why she grabs the shard of glass. The jagged piece in her hand, the weight comforting. 

Sakura just wants to feel or wants it all to end. She doesn’t want to be a burden anymore. Doesn’t want to let everyone down. Happiness wasn’t in the cards for her. Sakura goes to move the glass to her throat. 

Before she knows it there is a pressure holding her wrist. 

“Ka-Kakashi..” Her voice is broken, sobs taking over. 

Kakashi takes the glass from her hand, embracing her. The embrace is almost crushing, but the pressure starts to bring her comfort. She has always marvelled how she just fits into him. She is tucked into his chest. Kakashi’s head is resting on hers, one of his hands is now running up and down her hair. 

“I…” Kakashi has to stop and pause. Sakura can tell he is barely holding it together. 

“Pakkun came to get me the moment you went into the bathroom. He said you weren’t acting right...I knew I shouldn’t have left you today…. I tried to tell Shikamaru.” His voice trails off. 

The guilt eats at Sakura. Kakashi has more important things to worry about. Why couldn’t she be strong for him?

“You need to go to work. I shouldn’t keep you from it.” Sakura doesn’t want to move. She feels warm. His pillow doesn’t hold a candle to his actual smell. Her arms have gone to wrap around his waist, she couldn’t let him go. 

She knows that he has been hurting too. Today would have been her due date. They were going to have a baby. She remembers the joy when she told him. Sakura had his ninken help with the announcement, all of them wearing shirts that said “baby makes 11.” 

Everything was going well...then the 20 week check up happened. Well she didn’t make it to that point. The morning of her appointment she took a shower when something felt off. There was so much blood. She almost passed out, but was able to sit down on the toilet. Her frantic cries for Kakashi. At that moment she wasn’t a world renowned medic. She was a soon to be mother, watching her dreams leave her body. She was a wife who ...who lost their baby. 

He held her through the news. Both of them were crying when Tsuande confirmed what she knew. Its been 5 months since then. Kakashi has been her pillar of support through it all. 

“You know there is nothing more important than you.” His voice was almost a whisper, he was barely holding back his own tears.

Sakura couldn’t take it anymore. She was sick of holding him back. 

“Why? Why do you stay? Why don’t you leave, find a person who isn’t a burden? “ Kakashi was shocked when she shoved him. She had become frantic. Kakashi was just there, sitting on the floor looking up at her. 

“You support me, cry with me. You have to put up with me. Why don’t you find someone else? There are many women who would want you, who could … who could give you a child.” Sakura was shouting over and over. Finally after 5 minutes she had settled down some. She didn’t like looking down at him. Whatever strength that she had left her, so she found herself sitting on the floor. Sakura brought her knees to her chest and hugged herself. She didn’t understand. 

Kakashi’s face softened. A flash of disappointment. “There is no one else I would rather be with. There is no how to manual with life and pretty sure we wouldn’t follow it if there was. At times it seems like we weren’t meant to be. There were so many barriers. The moment I realized I how deep my feelings for you were, that it may be something more, we were plummeting into lava. It wasn’t my life that I saw, but you. All the moments I had with you and knew I wanted more. You punched a god! Then got your heart broken time and time again, only to forgive. You have put everyone before yourself, look at your clinic. I ask myself how I got so lucky. I never imagined myself having children, but you and me that is more than I could ever ask for.” Kakashi let his tears fall. 

They ended up laying on the floor of their bathroom. Kakashi was tracing circles on her back as she returned the favor on his chest. 

“I know Tsunade said we can try again, but… I want time… I want time to mourn, to find who we are again. I don’t like who I have become, this isn’t me. Can we take time to just be us again?” Sakura couldn’t help but hide her face from Kakashi. She was worried he would be mad, that she didn’t want to try right away. When she felt his hand tilting her head to look at him, she braced herself. Instead of anger, they were filled with relief. 

“You could ask me to bring you the moon and I would find a way. What you ask now is the easiest thing you could ever ask of me.”


End file.
